Responses and Help for Shutdowns and Meltdowns

(in edit still)

My best advice is to give the Autistic person some space, stop stimulating them if it is you doing the stimulation (if they ask you to stop, STOP, if you can recognize it then back down, less is generally more, if you don't understand whats happening, do not try to doctor them, silence is golden). Help them if they want it, to help remove them from an over stimulating area.

 

 

Masking

"Masking," when it comes to autistic behavior, refers to the conscious or unconscious effort by an autistic person to hide or suppress their natural traits in order to blend in or meet societal expectations. It often involves imitating neurotypical behaviors, such as forcing eye contact, suppressing stimming (self-soothing behaviors like fidgeting or rocking), or mimicking speech patterns and expressions to fit in socially.

This can be mentally and emotionally exhausting because it requires constant self-monitoring and a high level of energy. Masking is often used as a way to avoid misunderstanding, bullying, or being judged, but over time, it can lead to burnout, anxiety, or a diminished sense of self-identity.

A helpful analogy is to think of wearing a heavy costume all day—it hides who you really are but can feel stifling and exhausting. Autistic people may mask to navigate a world that often doesn't accommodate their differences, but it comes at a significant cost to their well-being.

Holidays

Focused Attention. Norms? Who's that? Uncomfortable Clothing. Sensory Load. Social Expectations. Routine (is that with gravy?)

Changes in Routine:

  • Holidays often disrupt daily routines, and predictability is vital for many autistic people. School or work breaks, irregular meal times, or travel can be unsettling.

Sensory Overload:

  • Bright lights, loud music, crowded gatherings, and strong smells (like holiday foods or incense) can cause sensory overstimulation.

Social Pressure:

  • Holidays frequently involve large gatherings or events with unspoken social expectations, which can be exhausting or confusing for autistic individuals.

Unclear Boundaries:

  • Family or cultural expectations may pressure individuals to engage in physical affection, small talk, or prolonged social interactions, which can be draining.

Christian Traditions

Christmas and Easter:

  • Decorations and Noise: Bright, flashing Christmas lights and carols in shopping centers may be overwhelming.
  • Social Gatherings: Large family meals, church services, or community events can involve unwritten social rules and prolonged interactions.
  • Changes in Environment: Moving to different locations (like a relative’s house) for celebrations may be distressing.

Jewish Traditions

Hanukkah:

  • Lighting the Menorah: Some autistic individuals might struggle with the sensory aspects of the flame or the accompanying blessings and songs.
  • Gift-Giving: The pressure to react "appropriately" to gifts could create anxiety.

Passover:

  • Long Seder Meal: Sitting through lengthy rituals or discussions may be challenging for individuals with attention or sensory needs.

Muslim Traditions

Ramadan and Eid:

  • Fasting in Ramadan: Changes in eating patterns may disrupt sensory regulation or routines.
  • Eid Gatherings: Visiting multiple relatives and mosques involves transitions, crowds, and sensory challenges.

Hindu Traditions

Diwali:

  • Fireworks: The noise and bright flashes can be overwhelming.
  • Crowded Events: Community gatherings or visits to temples may cause overstimulation or fatigue.

Secular or Other Seasonal Holidays

New Year’s Eve, US Independence Day, Chinese New Year, Rio Carnival, St. Patrick's Day, Holi

  • Fireworks and Parties: Loud, late-night celebrations can disrupt sleep schedules and lead to sensory overload.

Halloween:

  • Costumes: Wearing uncomfortable costumes or dealing with sensory-unfriendly makeup or masks can be distressing.
  • Trick-or-Treating: Social interactions with strangers and navigating crowded streets may be anxiety-inducing.

Thanksgiving or Similar Feasts:

  • Food Sensitivities: Picky eating or sensory issues with textures or flavors may make meals challenging.
  • Crowded Dining Spaces: Large tables with lots of conversations can be noisy and overwhelming.

Why It Feels Harder During Holidays

Holidays amplify stressors by combining multiple challenges—unexpected changes, sensory triggers, social interactions, and pressures to conform. While these factors exist year-round, they converge during holiday seasons, making the experience more intense. Autistic individuals often feel the weight of societal or familial expectations to "enjoy the festivities," which adds an emotional burden.

By understanding these difficulties, loved ones, friends, and other holiday event organizers and attendees, can help create accommodations, like offering sensory breaks, clear schedules, or smaller gatherings, to make holidays more manageable and enjoyable. I did my best to include various religious holiday differences because I understand culturally autism will be experienced differently.  I thank my anthropology and sociology teachers for this outlook.  If there is anything to add, change, or improve on the ideas, please reach out to me bearfulmer at gmail.

These are not hard coded features of all autistic folks, I love the smells of cinnamon and a less pollinated environment of winter, there is dedication in many of the dishes people prepare, though I have always felt that cooking should be taken more seriously all year, anyway I hope your holiday times can be more enjoyable with a little understanding from our other holiday attendees. If not do your own thing, you are not required to be uncomfortable your entire life.

I got more ideas for this page, it will take a couple days to get something fleshed out. Thanks for stopping by. You are Aunough! =)

Me, Autistic, Say Wha?  Is something different about my brain that I cannot put my finger on? Why do certain things bother me? What are some approaches as an adult, generally without children. (If you have children that are diagnosed, sometimes they can also diagnose the parent)  What are the resources, Where are the resources, Who are the resources.